I write about stuff that interests me

I wake up on a beach. The start of a new year, 2023. It feels like I was born today with memories from a past life, which start unraveling into my consciousness.  It has been 4 days since I last saw the face of my mobile phone. I'm surrounded by the best of what nature has to offer, but they annoy me. In front of me, a small crab burrows itself into a small hole in the mud. Instinctively, my hand reaches towards my pocket only to feel emptiness and fill me with irritation. That could be preventing me from appreciating nature, or I was never an appreciator of nature but just liked the idea of being one. Time passes, but there is no memory to back it up. I go to sleep. As soon as I wake up, I start writing in my book. I feel the texture of its cover on my bare right thigh, gravity pulling both down, but with different forces. I'm seeking to be philosophically enlightened in some way. Instead, I feel the soft touch of the covers of my blanket. It would give me a tickle if the blan...

I turn on the disco ball. My entire room is painted with patterns that are constantly changing. While all this is happening, I’m laying on my bed, listening to some music I don’t remember, soaking in the colors right above the disco ball. But, I don’t feel good. My neck starts to hurt; I think I’m twisting it too much to focus on that particular spot. But, I don’t listen to my body. I keep on staying in this position. Soon, my focus shifted to the inner world- I was lost in thought. My thoughts took me to my childhood. They could only present me with a vague recollection of a few instances. I remembered feeling empathy when my friend had bruised his knee by falling on concrete. Could I make any conclusions about myself from the limited capacity of my memory? I don’t think so. It was years of joys, sorrows, and mundanity condensed to a single second. This is not the first time my thoughts have entered this territory. Some things could be the same. Another person is facing pain, but this...

St. Petersburg, Russia during “Crime and Punishment” was stricken by poverty, abuse, alcoholism, and mistrust. Moral corruption seemed to run in the veins- the rich took advantage of the vulnerable, even when their situation didn’t demand them to. Raskolnikov, an ex-law student living in abject poverty, was burdened with the expectations of his mother and sister. Naturally, he hated his life and felt powerless. Fortunately, one day, he contemplates a miraculous solution to his problem- murder. If we brush off that murder is inherently wrong, Roskolnikov’s idea makes a lot of sense. The victim of his plans was to be an exploitative pawnbroker hated by everyone. As many of Roskolnikov’s problems could be solved by money, the valuables she possessed would bring greater utility in his hands. Moreover, it is necessary to break the law to bring about change in society. Revolutionary acts are radical by nature and usually oppose the existing laws and norms. In essence, the law was stopping th...

 I need to think of a reasonable way to die. A story can’t start with me being in the afterlife, just feels weird. Hmm… let me Google the most common cause of death among young people. Oh, it’s heart disease. I woke up one day. As usual, I didn’t want to get out of bed and had a strong urge to start my day by mindlessly browsing through my phone. But the resistance was particularly heavy this day. There was a numbing pain throughout my body and I could only feel the tightness of my chest. I had to be somewhere in half an hour, so lying in bed wasn’t an option. Exhausting every ounce of my willpower, I got out of bed. I entered the bathroom, squeezed some paste into my brush, made it wet and united it to my teeth. For some reason, my arm had lost all its strength, even lifting the brush proved to be an arduous task. It felt as if my legs weren’t strong enough to support my weight, like my bones had forgotten that they’re meant to keep to upright. I collapsed to the floor.   ...

I close my eyes and sit upright. No matter how hot it is, the air entering through my nose carries a cool freshness. Breathe in, my stomach bulges out like someone is blowing a balloon. Breathe out, the muscles on my face loosen up and my body feels lighter. This goes on for maybe 5 seconds. I have been escorted to the past now; time has lost its meaning. An hour long conversation I had is reduced to a single instance. That moment, with whispers and vague imagery, is powerful enough to convince me of anything. Time and rationality continue to stay irrelevant for a while. A voice breaks free and calls out to me, it reminds me of why I have closed my eyes. The sensations of air mingling with by body return, although they had never left.  I have no control over this switch inside my head. I don’t know where it will take me. It’s like the process of falling asleep- you never know the exact moment you slip into oblivion. But just like dreams, the switch takes me to a place that is ins...