I write about stuff that interests me

Ni**as in Paris was released in 2011 A verse by Jay-Z goes, “What's 50 grand to a motherfucker like me? Can you please remind me?” In 2011, he had a net worth of $450 million 50 grand was a measly 0.01% of his wealth The Arab Spring happened during the same time; the Middle East and North Africa were struck with instability and violence 50 grand could mean food in the table of hundreds of families there 50 grand could be enough for many to escape the sounds of guns and bombs to start a new life where even the bare minimum seems to be a far fetched dream   Instead 100s of grands were exchanged for fancy watches and designer clothes But what’s 100 grand to a mofo like Jay-Z? I’m not criticizing Jay-Z here Because what is $20 to a mofo like me? Maybe a kid whose parents were bombed out of existence in Gaza could live for one more day with $20 $20 could also mean mosquito nets for many of the thousands of people still dying due to Malaria Instead, I used that $20 to buy...

  “All paths Arjuna, lead to me” The Bhagavad Gita is an inner dialogue between the ordinary human self (Arjuna) and the inner divine self (Krishna). As a non-religious person, I was useful for me to think of God as the innermost self to understand what the book was trying to say. In short, the purpose of life is to connect with this self. So, how can we do that? Meditate The untrained mind is restless and constantly wandering, finding ways to fulfil its desires. After one desire is fulfilled, it is replaced by another one. Many confuse the pursuit of desire as the pursuit of happiness and keep repeating the same cycle again and again. One must be careful as powerful compulsive desires can get the better of them, scattering their resolution the way a cloud is scattered by the wind. Therefore, one needs to learn to train the mind through meditation. It is believed in the depths of meditation, when the mind is made still, the inner self reveals itself i.e., you unite with Lor...

I'm having dinner with someone. While she's talking to me, I stop and look at her face. Each part of her face has its own personality. When she's happy, her eyes sparkle, and creases form on her nose in a certain way. When she's hurt, her eyes and nose try to move closer to one another. I wonder if I could decipher her emotions just by looking at her nose. All the time that we spent together, where was I looking? I realize I have been staring blankly for too long. I only hear the end of what she said, and I quickly form a remark based on that.  "Sometimes, when I'm talking to you, it feels like I'm conversing with a robot."  I do feel like a robot sometimes, like a boat in a river getting tossed around by the waves. Sometimes, no matter how hard I paddle, I have to submit to the waves. No matter how hard I try to preserve this moment, I will have to let it get washed away—the world is ending soon.  A few days ago, two people dressed like saints from a ...

No alarms, no sunshine gliding across my face, no abrupt end to a dream, my eyes just open up. Sleep has left my body. Almost involuntarily, my hands reach out to my phone. 11 A.M. I can’t remember if I was supposed to meet Muna at 11:15 A.M. in front of the dorms. Three seconds and I’m out of bed, hastily brushing my teeth and restoring some order to my bed simultaneously. By 11:10 A.M. I’ve put on the first clothes my hands touch and am ready to leave the room.  As I run to the elevator, I give a call to Muna. “Muna, were we supposed to meet today?”  “Ummm, I don’t think so, no.”  “Oh, never mind. I can fuzzily remember making plans with you. Must have been in my dreams then.”  “Mohit, I don’t have time for your tomfoolery okay. I’ll talk to you later.”  “B-”  By the end of the call, I’m outside the dorms. I start thinking about Omkar. Ever since I was young, I talked to myself a lot. All of that changed when one day I heard talking to oneself is a sign o...

When I was a 9-year-old kid, my front tooth had started moving- I would have to bid farewell to him soon. After some intense exchange of words, it was decided that my mom was to wrap a thread around my tooth and force it out. The experience was painful, tears rolled down my eyes, mucus soon followed- rendering my face wet. But there was a glimmer of hope waiting for me. While sleeping, I would put my tooth under the pillow to summon the tooth fairy. The next morning, I was to be rewarded with money. However, things did not play out like that. I was greeted by my musty tooth instead of money the next morning.  This betrayal could not diminish my faith in the tooth fairy. I kept putting my teeth under the pillow and got the same results. My rational adult brain is tempted to look at this memory with a sense of superiority. How foolish of me to believe in such fairy tales. Of course, beliefs should be informed by facts and logic and not by fabricated stories.  But how far can we ...

I saw a butter fly earlier and he look like he don’t bite. I tease him so he got anger and slap me with his wings. I chase the naughty slapper to take the revenge but he fly up the tree. Sadly, I human cannot do the fly up the tree. He won the fight and make my healthy bad cause my head pain, making me feel not amaze.  A wise man from America of the states once told me to keep the focus on positives. It make me wanna talk about myself. I like to do the talk with my brother and lovely sisters. I think speaking make me what I am. If I cannot speak, I will become like the naughty slapper butter fly. My teacher always told me to mind my tongue and my language. I do not think that is good.  Language determines our thoughts, opinions, and actions. It’s a reflection of our culture and values. The Nepali language is hierarchical- we use distinct verbs for our elders and friends. This facilitates respecting our elders and treating them differently like how we would treat our peers. The...

I wake up on a beach. The start of a new year, 2023. It feels like I was born today with memories from a past life, which start unraveling into my consciousness.  It has been 4 days since I last saw the face of my mobile phone. I'm surrounded by the best of what nature has to offer, but they annoy me. In front of me, a small crab burrows itself into a small hole in the mud. Instinctively, my hand reaches towards my pocket only to feel emptiness and fill me with irritation. That could be preventing me from appreciating nature, or I was never an appreciator of nature but just liked the idea of being one. Time passes, but there is no memory to back it up. I go to sleep. As soon as I wake up, I start writing in my book. I feel the texture of its cover on my bare right thigh, gravity pulling both down, but with different forces. I'm seeking to be philosophically enlightened in some way. Instead, I feel the soft touch of the covers of my blanket. It would give me a tickle if the blan...

I turn on the disco ball. My entire room is painted with patterns that are constantly changing. While all this is happening, I’m laying on my bed, listening to some music I don’t remember, soaking in the colors right above the disco ball. But, I don’t feel good. My neck starts to hurt; I think I’m twisting it too much to focus on that particular spot. But, I don’t listen to my body. I keep on staying in this position. Soon, my focus shifted to the inner world- I was lost in thought. My thoughts took me to my childhood. They could only present me with a vague recollection of a few instances. I remembered feeling empathy when my friend had bruised his knee by falling on concrete. Could I make any conclusions about myself from the limited capacity of my memory? I don’t think so. It was years of joys, sorrows, and mundanity condensed to a single second. This is not the first time my thoughts have entered this territory. Some things could be the same. Another person is facing pain, but this...

St. Petersburg, Russia during “Crime and Punishment” was stricken by poverty, abuse, alcoholism, and mistrust. Moral corruption seemed to run in the veins- the rich took advantage of the vulnerable, even when their situation didn’t demand them to. Raskolnikov, an ex-law student living in abject poverty, was burdened with the expectations of his mother and sister. Naturally, he hated his life and felt powerless. Fortunately, one day, he contemplates a miraculous solution to his problem- murder. If we brush off that murder is inherently wrong, Roskolnikov’s idea makes a lot of sense. The victim of his plans was to be an exploitative pawnbroker hated by everyone. As many of Roskolnikov’s problems could be solved by money, the valuables she possessed would bring greater utility in his hands. Moreover, it is necessary to break the law to bring about change in society. Revolutionary acts are radical by nature and usually oppose the existing laws and norms. In essence, the law was stopping th...

 I need to think of a reasonable way to die. A story can’t start with me being in the afterlife, just feels weird. Hmm… let me Google the most common cause of death among young people. Oh, it’s heart disease. I woke up one day. As usual, I didn’t want to get out of bed and had a strong urge to start my day by mindlessly browsing through my phone. But the resistance was particularly heavy this day. There was a numbing pain throughout my body and I could only feel the tightness of my chest. I had to be somewhere in half an hour, so lying in bed wasn’t an option. Exhausting every ounce of my willpower, I got out of bed. I entered the bathroom, squeezed some paste into my brush, made it wet and united it to my teeth. For some reason, my arm had lost all its strength, even lifting the brush proved to be an arduous task. It felt as if my legs weren’t strong enough to support my weight, like my bones had forgotten that they’re meant to keep to upright. I collapsed to the floor.   ...

I close my eyes and sit upright. No matter how hot it is, the air entering through my nose carries a cool freshness. Breathe in, my stomach bulges out like someone is blowing a balloon. Breathe out, the muscles on my face loosen up and my body feels lighter. This goes on for maybe 5 seconds. I have been escorted to the past now; time has lost its meaning. An hour long conversation I had is reduced to a single instance. That moment, with whispers and vague imagery, is powerful enough to convince me of anything. Time and rationality continue to stay irrelevant for a while. A voice breaks free and calls out to me, it reminds me of why I have closed my eyes. The sensations of air mingling with by body return, although they had never left.  I have no control over this switch inside my head. I don’t know where it will take me. It’s like the process of falling asleep- you never know the exact moment you slip into oblivion. But just like dreams, the switch takes me to a place that is ins...

  I feel like doing poetry today Words are ringing inside They must see the light Because a screen told me You can bargain with God The same God that sings That made Agnes melancholic But power is paradoxical with the future This is the present There is no God Only me and my demons So I feel like poetry today

No one wants to suffer in their life- yet no one gets to not suffer. It is reasonable to believe that suffering makes life unappealing. I’m here to argue the opposite. An idea constantly echoed in books related to happiness and meaning in life is that one cannot grow in comfort. Watching TV all day or engaging in activities that don’t require much effort won’t transform you into a more complex individual with a richer understanding and experience. You become complex and grow as a person by engaging in activities that require your attention and challenge you.  According to Flow – the psychology of optimal experience – horrific events in life often lead to people finding their purpose. This transformational effect has more to do with the reaction than the experience itself. The first step is to recognize that other people suffer due to the same cause (poverty, let’s say). Then, focus your effort on solving the problem for everyone. Someone being raised in poverty developing an intere...

 "Passive forms of media aren’t supposed to make us happy and strong, they’re supposed to make money for someone."  Things to know ·        Flow is a state of complete immersion in the activity being performed where everything outside of it becomes irrelevant- one forgets about the frustrations and worries of daily life. During flow, the sense of time is messed up- hours can feel like minutes, and minutes like hours. A professional violinist forgets about the outside world and becomes one with their instrument while performing, they are experiencing flow. ·        Attention is a major resource of our mind. How we choose to use it determines our quality of life. In this book, psychic energy refers to attention. Pleasure and enjoyment are different Many people might have the mentality that they shouldn’t put effort into anything unless it brings forth any extrinsic rewards, like money and fame. Although pleasure c...

We experience reality from two perspectives. If I point to a dog and ask what that is, everyone will say that it’s a dog. But, the sight of the dog isn’t the only component of the experience. Two people looking at the same dog might have different emotional reactions to it. Maybe one of them loves dogs and might feel happy by the sight. The other person had got bitten by a dog, so they look at it with fear. In short, we constantly interpret the objective reality – according to our experience, wants and desires – that we experience, making it subjective. Meursault, the protagonist of “The Stranger” written by Albert Camus, doesn’t seem to experience reality subjectively. He perceives reality just as it is, without any interpretations. That’s why I think everything feels meaningless to him. The opening of the novel reads “Mother died today. Or maybe it was yesterday, I don't know.” Meursault isn’t affected much by the death of his mother, noting that nothing in his life had changed a...

I’m running. Every time I step on the ground, a jolt of pain from my knee spreads itself to my thigh. If I don’t stop immediately, it feels like an internal organ inside my lower ribs is going to burst. The cool wind gently brushing on my body is the only delight, so I focus on that. The pain is still there. I look ahead at the trees slow dancing with the wind. “It’s impossible to go ahead without a rest”, emerges an inner voice, but I ignore that and keep going. After a while, something strange happens. I no longer feel pain, but just feel incredibly grateful to be alive. A sense of bliss washes over my body. I feel energized, so I run faster. My brain was lying to me. Had I listened to it, I wouldn’t have felt the runner’s high. The storm before the calm isn’t limited to running. Whenever we have to take action, our first instinct is to put it off. An inner voice convinces us that it’s going to be boring, that it can be done any other time but now. If we don’t succumb to this voice...

The central ideas in the book are simple. The first is that we cannot eliminate poverty (as of yet), but that is no excuse for inaction. Poverty leads to a waste of life and talent, which is undesirable. Therefore, we should do whatever we can to reduce it. The second is that simple actions can have a sizeable impact. These actions include deworming children (makes them healthier), adding chlorine to water (prevents diarrhoea), providing adequate Iodine to pregnant women (creates healthier babies), using bed nets (prevents malaria), and many others. Unfortunately, easily preventable problems cause many deaths and misery. To discuss the content of the book, it is important to understand some concepts. A stable job differentiates the middle class from the poor. One is in a poverty trap if their future income is projected to be lower than their present income. This implies that one cannot get out of poverty themselves (hence, “trap”), and intervention is needed. How do the poor spend ...

After playing “relaxing music” on YouTube, I sit down - cross-legged - and close my eyes. I have one objective: focus on the rhythm of my breath. For maybe 10 seconds, I succeed. Inevitably, my mind wanders off by conjuring memories from the past or making up scenarios for the future. For the mind to do that, we don’t need to close our eyes. Think about how many times you didn’t notice something happening in the present because you were lost in thought. It’s a common experience to be looking at someone speaking to us, but only listen to the voice inside our head.  Our thoughts mostly contain instances that are blurry and lack details, but we get the gist of it. Dreams aren’t that different. One way to know if you are dreaming is by counting your fingers. If you look at your hand in your dream, it certainly won’t have 5 fingers. It seems as if the fingers were placed on the palm by a lousy architect.   We cannot predict our thoughts and they tend to bounce from one context...

As human beings, we are exceptionally capable of finding the faults or mistakes of other people. However, when it comes to ourselves, that capability seems to vanish. Sometimes, we even do the same things we criticize others for doing. Hence, the word hypocrisy exists. Our elevated positioning of the self – or ego – might be the culprit here. We don’t want to be wrong or be lesser than anyone else. Irrationality, like the one described above, aids the fulfilment of such desire.  When we look at thoughts that bother us, most aren’t rational. They stem from events that we cannot control (what other people think, what if XYZ happens in the future), or negative emotions like anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. This voice is within the confinement of ego as it resides within us, hence our judgement is impaired- although you don’t want to be angry or jealous, your thoughts make you that. But, we’re not powerless to our thoughts. Simply writing our thoughts down on a piece of paper/scree...